prettydamngood | (no subject)

(no subject)

Steve loves the beach. He loves it in all weathers but he particularly loves it when it's hot, when he can spend the whole day there, with a magazine, with soda. He spends most of the day sprawled out on a blanket on the sand reading or napping but, when he wakes up, he feels hot and sweaty, hectic, and it's definitely time for a swim. He leaves the majority of his stuff on the sand and he plunges into the water, submerging and swimming until he starts to feel comfortable in his skin again.

He wades out, shaking water from his hair as he goes, only realising after he's done it that that's potentially antisocial. He pushes the heavy weight of his hair back from his face and grins at whoever he just splashed.

"Shit, man," he says. "Sorry."

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"No," says Steve, shaking his head, looking down at his hands. "No, it wasn't normal. My girl...My ex, and her...friend, they got mixed up in it, and the kids got mixed up in it, and..." He shrugs. "I couldn't let them do it on their own."

That was a familiar excuse, the sort I would find myself using, and I smiled as I dug my toes into the sand. Steve was a good person, which wasn't necessarily a surprise, but it made me feel better about living in Darrow. When I had gotten into that fight, people told me I shouldn't have gone that route, but I had to. I had to help. It was nice knowing there were some who would understand.

"A lot of people could have," I said with a small shrug. "Let them do it on their own, I mean. It was good that you helped them."

"They're just kids," points out Steve, glancing at Jamie. "Younger than you. I wasn't going to let them get their asses kicked." Hopper and Joyce were doing their best but, other than that, adults hadn't been any help at all. He shrugs. "I don't know. It didn't feel like I had a choice."

I had been lethal at eight. Not just to the Many-Eyed, but the pirates as well. They're just kids wasn't a phrase that had ever meant much to me, because the Island had been full of children and we had done our level best to destroy anything that opposed us.

I didn't want to tell Steve that for some reason. I didn't want him to know about the pirates.

"You had a choice," I said instead. "Even if you think you didn't. Other people would have seen the choice and wouldn't have made the same one."

Something about that embarrasses Steve a little and he ducks his head, rolling his shoulders in a shrug.

"Whatever," he says, finally, giving Jamie a crooked smile. "I'm not sorry that it's quieter here. Do you miss it? Your island?"

"Not really," I said. "Maybe parts of it. I was trying to get off the Island when I ended up in Darrow. I really wanted to leave."

It wasn't the escape I had planned, not in any form, but it was still an escape. I carried so much guilt over those who had died and those I'd left behind, but I tried to tell myself they wouldn't be angry with me. I had tried so hard and I had failed, but they would know. Somehow they would know and they wouldn't hold it against me.

"If I'd grown up with giant spider monsters, I think I'd have been trying to leave too," says Steve, nudging Jamie lightly with his elbow, his smile lifting the corner of his mouth. "What do you like best about living here?"

Without giving myself time to think, I opened my mouth and almost said Eddie, but caught myself just in time. It wasn't that I thought Steve would care, but I was still working through my thoughts and feelings on most matters and while I suspected it was an honest answer, it felt a little too honest for the moment.

"The people I've met," I said instead. Which was an extension of what I'd thought and still the truth. "Everyone here is very different, but I like most everyone I've met here."

Some more than others, it seemed.

"Hope I'm included in that," says Steve, shooting Jamie a grin to show that he's mostly teasing. He pushes his hand through his wet hair, leaving it in fingered furrows. "Yeah. The people kind of make it worth being here, don't they?" He's particularly thinking of one person, but it's not like she's his only friend.

"Of course," I answered and I knew he was just teasing me, but it was also the truth. Steve had been very kind to me and I knew I would be pleased to see him whenever we ran into each other. Because I lived at the Home, I knew there was other people I would see more often than Steve, but that didn't mean we wouldn't also be good friends.

"I like having hot showers, too," I added. "And the food. I like chocolate. And tomatoes. And hot dogs."

"All good things," says Steve, nodding. "I think my favourite thing about here is the beach, honestly. We don't have a beach in Hawkins."

"No beach," I said, trying to imagine that. In London there had been no beach, but I didn't remember much about living there and even though I recognized it as having been a difficult place to live now that I was away, the Island was still home. And the Island had beaches everywhere.

"I like the beach, too," I told him. "I don't know what I'd do without one. I love swimming."

"Yeah, me too," says Steve, nodding, his wet hair tumbling across his forehead again. "In this weather, it's pretty much all I do when I'm not at work. At least, that's what it feels like."

"I-" I stopped, realizing I was finally getting a chance to be a kid. Like I was meant to. Steve was talking about work and I was going to tell him what I did when I wasn't at the beach and it was a nice thing to realize none of it was particularly serious. None of it was worrying about Peter. I still thought of Charlie and Sal all the time, but even that was a little different.

"I've been riding bikes a lot," I said. "With Eddie and Beverly. Except she's dating this guy named Peter, so sometimes it's just me and Eddie. And I have to do homework to catch up before school starts."

I sounded like I belonged here.

"I keep thinking about school," admits Steve. "I was pretty close to graduating back home, and part of me just...doesn't want to bother, but a friend of mine thinks I ought to get my GED." He shrugs. "I don't know. Don't need it to work here."

"I think it's important," I said, although I didn't know if Steve was asking my opinion. Maybe it wasn't necessary to work here, but given what I had been told from staff and other kids, given what I had read in the library, I thought education was important because it exposed you to new ideas.

"I think it's important to always be learning," I clarified. "And I think education can help us do that by explaining things we might not know otherwise, which leads us to learning other, bigger ideas." I paused. "What's a GED?"

"General Education Diploma," says Steve, looking down at his hands. "Gives me a qualification without me having to go back to school and, like. Actually graduate. I'm not sure that I could stand doing that here." He winces. "I was never that good at school. Back home, I was applying to college, but only because I felt like I was supposed to."

College was the school that came after high school, I had learned that much here. I also knew it wasn't required of people, but that high school was, even if I wasn't sure why they couldn't force people to go into both. Mostly it had something to do with age, I expected, and I hadn't been to high school yet, but I thought I would want to go to college. And I had been told in order to go to college, you had to finish high school first.

"I think you should do it," I said. "Because maybe three years from now you find out college offers classes in something you really want to do, but you can't go because you didn't graduate. And maybe you don't, but I think it's worth it to have. Just in case."

"Yeah, well, maybe," says Steve, with a ghost of a smile. "If two guys I trust say I should, plus my best friend, maybe I ought to just go ahead and do it."

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